AUGUST 15, 1997 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE

19

BIG TIPS

It's body chat time again

by M.T. "the Big Tipper" Martone Dear Big Tipper,

I just read your comments about vaginal lubrication [July 4 issue]. As a man with some experience in vaginas (sorry, some of us guys are like that), I've learned a few things over the years about the ins and outs of lubrication.

Off hand, I know of two lubricating glands in the vulva at the mouth of the vagina called bulbourethral glands (Bartholin's glands). These correlate to the Cowper's glands in the male that make the pre-cum lubricant.

One of my reference books, The ReSearch Guide to Bodily Fluids by Paul Spinrad, has more info under Vaginal Secretions:

"Vaginal secretions contain may things, including sweat, sebum, and secretions from Bartholin's and Skene's glands at the vulva, endometrial and oviductal fluids (which change with the menstrual cycle), cervical mucus, exfoliated cells, and secretions of the vaginal walls themselves, which increase with sexual arousal.

This book then goes into a more detailed chemical breakdown and explains odors and such if you really want to know.

But, this is an added source that mentions "secretions of the vaginal walls" . . .

Just thought you'd like this for future reference. Also, if you ever need info on underarm odors, I've sniffed out some fascinating facts about that and had an article published in a national nudist magazine on the subject.

Dear Vagina Boy,

Your Slip is Showing

Thanks, although it's going to take a little concentration to keep the phrase "cervical mucus and exfoliated cells" out of my head when I'm getting down to business. I wished I'd had a chance to check out your sweaty piece when I received this next letter . . .

Dear Big Tipper,

I like my men funky. Musky. Sweaty. Stinky. There's nothing sexier to me than burying my face in a man's armpit right after he's been working in the sun, or dancing for hours. I also love the scent of his more intimate places. What could be more natural?

Unfortunately, I notice that most gay men shower carefully before they go out, or quickly at the end of a workout at the gym, and particularly before dates. How can I convince men that it's just 100% better to let their natural scent stay?

Dear Muskrat Love,

Sweaty Pie

Yours is hardly a minority taste. Body smells originally helped us find each other, tell which pups were our own, and who might be up for a little lovin' this particular evening in the fertile

crescent.

You have to admit though, much of the appeal of sweatiness depends on context. One hot summer of commuting on the subway in Manhattan should hammer that clammy point home. En el otro mano, there really isn't anything quite like the scent of someone you want, mingled with leather jacket, a whiff of smoke, perhaps a hint of Indian food, mmm... whoops. I digress.

Fortunately, it's not too hard to make your own sweaty guy. Take one powder-fresh lad and ask him to exert himself dancing, or hurl-

ing, or curling, or re-tarring your driveway. Or you could make the sacrifice of starting out having sex with a soapy guy, and just doing it long enough for him to work up a nice aroma. If this is all too much work, however, you might just seek out a new home where the deodorant lobby doesn't hold us all so tightly in its clutches. Like France.

Dear Big Tipper,

I am a lesbian who has been out for about a decade now and there has been something that has been bugging me ever since my very first girl-girl action, and I feel a weird sense of shame and guilt about it. I don't like oral sex. More specifically, I don't like the way it tastes. I've tried many different women. All of them very hygienically aware. I just don't like the flavor. I like the fantasy of going down on a woman, it makes me wet to think about it, but it's sort of like taking a big gulp of what you thought was ice cold water and finding out it's warm Sprite.

I have to say, I like being on the receiving end of the game but I try and discourage my partners so I won't have to reciprocate. I don't think it's any sort of internalized homophobia or misogyny. I think it's just a matter of palette preferences. I don't like the taste of green peppers either. I feel so guilty about this. What do think? you

Dear Mal de Munch,

Sour Puss

First of all, "sex" is a pretty wide-ranging festival of activities, and you should never feel like you have to do something you really dislike, or that doesn't feel sexy to you. And there are certainly lesbians who don't have oral sex, for reasons varying from casual disinterest to a history of abuse triggered by that particular act. You're no freak, and you shouldn't feel guilty.

That said, if your issue really seems to be about taste (and smell, its kissing cousin), and you'd like to be able to enjoy oral sex, there are certainly ways to negotiate around what you don't like. The easiest, and most in vogue is to use a dental dam (or plastic wrap) as a barrier. It's safe sex with the added attraction for you of no taste exchange. You can use your closed lips instead of your tongue. You could also try using a flavored lube or honey, or having sex in water. If you're a little freaked out by the taste of the bread box in general, you can practice getting used to your own juice.

I've had lovers with whom I didn't love oral sex because of the way they tasted or smelled: Not necessarily bad, just not appealing to me. I even had a honey whose muff gave me a sore throat every time I went down on her.

Those factors aside, though, there was always something else to recommend the dive: the way they'd respond, or the up close and personal time you get to check out their cute lips and fur. You might want to just get down there, do what you want with your hands and fingers, then later on, taste your fingers when you're not in the heat of the moment. And if you don't like it, you don't like it.

I would, however, try to find something good to swap with the girls so you don't have to give up being gone down on yourself: Maybe some good foot massage time. Good luck!

✓

Send your burning questions on life and love to M.T. Martone, care of the Chronicle, P.O. Box 5426, Cleveland 44101, or fax to 216-631-1052, or e-mail to martone@ drizzle.com.

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